..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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