Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
