Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
