I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My butt remains clenched, sir.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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