we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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