what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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