All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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