This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
