If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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