I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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