so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
