Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
