hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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