Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
