i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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