i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
