9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
