Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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