Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
