4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
