i just wanna soil my oats bro
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
