from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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