Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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