Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
