i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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