She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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