so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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