We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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