we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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