Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
