Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
