I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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