i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
