TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
