good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Someone came in the potted fern
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
