I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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