i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
