Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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