How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize