Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
