So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Dicks are not precious.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
