Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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