He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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