i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
