hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
