Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
