Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
