It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
