i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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