her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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