I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
This house was built for laser tag.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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