ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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