I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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