My nipple is on Facebook.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
