I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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