I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize