You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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