she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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