just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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