what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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