Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Do vagina's smell?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
