fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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