You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
