escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize